When you’re struggling to conceive, you are under enough pressure, so you don’t need to hear that you could overcome your problem if you upped your performance.  Being told you need an orgasm to conceive is unhelpful, and could even be counter-productive.  Fortunately, it’s not true.

If you’re worrying that not orgasming might be preventing you from conceiving, take heart from the facts:

Match those statistics against the one in seven couples who are likely to experience trouble conceiving, and it becomes instantly obvious that you don’t need to orgasm to conceive.

In fact, no-one is really sure why women do orgasm: most female primates don’t.  One suggestion is that it’s like nipples: men have nipples because women need them; women are able to orgasm because orgasms positively reinforce ejaculation in men, and hence the survival of the species.  But we’re not sure.

What is for sure is that an orgasm is not a prerequisite for conception.  In fact, you can become pregnant up to five days after having sex, as sperm can survive for several days in the fallopian tubes, again showing that an orgasm is not a factor in conception.

What can impact on fertility is stress, so being mis-fed inaccurate information about how your performance can impact on your fertility could be really counter-productive.

“The most important take-home message from this is that couples trying to conceive need to be a team and support each other as much as possible in their quest to have a child,”

explains Carole Gilling-Smith, Consultant Gynaecologist and Medical Director at the Agora Gynaecology & Fertility Centre. 

“No one should feel responsible or guilty even if the problem is just due to one partner. Infertility can put a huge stress on a relationship, so it is best to be aware of this from an early stage and take steps to prevent any relationship break down.  Couples should make time for each other and enjoy each other’s company, planning to do a variety of enjoyable things together that are not related to trying to conceive.  Focusing love making just on the fertile time of the month can be very counter productive and lead to psychosexual problems in both the man and woman, which ultimately will have a very negative effect on a couple’s chances of conceiving.”